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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Maybe I Am Growing Up...or Whatever
I haven't made a single entry for a long time. I guess I have been too busy to write...or I haven't been too inspired.
For the past few days I have been applying for a job like a normal graduate would do. And like any other normal graduate, i have been doing this with very little money left in my pocket. I should get this job...I've been dreaming of this for a very long time and I am determined to get it...
ooOoo
Growing old is inevitable but growing up is a choice...but how do I know if I am growing up? Is there a sign? Sometimes I feel like I am growing up when I let the things I held on so tightly go so that I can move on...This includes old habits, friends, and some childhood memoirs...Right now I am still in the process of letting go. It is painful...but I'll learn to manage and I know God will heal me and strengthen me, so that I might be able to grow again...yeah, i guess this is growing up...I AM GROWING UP...or whatever.
Posted at 12:34 pm by ro_annes
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Sunday, January 30, 2005
In this corner I found my freedom
Away from the world of woes
In this dark side, I seek solitude
Away from the cruel eyes of my world
Here in darkness, I face the wall
The wall where I paint my dreams
I paint it with my tears, blood and sweat
Hidden from anybody else's shadow
Here in this side, i nestle with my pain
Embracing my unshared tortures
Here I fight with my own demons
And I fear my own nightmares
In this corner, I built my temple
Here I made myself a home
I sleep here with sacred silence
seeking comfort in my private shrine
Posted at 02:15 pm by ro_annes
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Friday, January 28, 2005
Intoxication (poem written while in college)
Temptations
And deceptions
Leads me to question
and question
and question...
Then misconceptions
and confusions
Brought by people's propagation
of inadequate solutions
Then came a mind's revolution
Reaching a realization
All it ever was...
was my miseducation
Posted at 08:23 pm by ro_annes
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Thursday, January 27, 2005
Before the world, here I stand
With you by my side, and your hand in my hand
For the longest time, I dreamed of being loved by you
Could it be that my dreams are coming true?
Before the world, here I wonder
For a brief moment of love, I have felt forever
In loving you, I have found my bliss
So from loving you, I will never cease
Before the world, here I believe
That you deserve more love than I could ever give
Nonetheless, I will give my best
Until eternity, after my final rest
Before the world, here I love
You’re the only person I wanted to hold and to have
So now I will say my vow and bare my heart Until after death, do us part
Posted at 04:57 pm by ro_annes
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Monday, January 24, 2005
I could feel you, as the earth feels the sun's rays
I could see you, as the river sees the blue skies
I could hear you, as the mountain hears the echoes
I could touch you, as the rain touches the ground
It felt real though it was a dream
I dreamed that I was loved by you
It was beautiful
Posted at 03:43 pm by ro_annes
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Sunday, January 23, 2005
I looked out the window
And behold! My prince
But I’m only his princess
When I sleep, in my dreams
I dream that we dance together
To the sound of love songs until twelve
But when I wake up we’re just strangers
Nothing’s done and nothing’s said
We’ll live happily ever after
In our kingdom faraway
But dream castles aren’t forever
They’re just moments inside my head
Yes, I could eat a hundred apples
Or sing a thousand songs
Or prick myself with lots of needles
Anything to make you fall
But fairy godmothers aren’t real
Neither are dwarves, ruby shoes, or evil queens
So, I’m left here staring and dreaming, wondrin’ What would Cinderella do if she was in my shoe?
Posted at 10:15 pm by ro_annes
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Saturday, January 22, 2005
My Mantra!
When you're feeling down and sad...do something good for others so that you'll feel better!!!
Posted at 01:03 am by ro_annes
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Thursday, January 20, 2005
I am a drama queen...again!
Today I've decided to put my first foot forward into the next phase of my life. I went to my college and started on processing my graduation papers and the records of my college grades.
I walked on the streets i used to walked during those four years in the university. I met some old friends and rekindled the ideals which I firmly believed on during those four years. It felt great, really great.
Then a news came up. My very close friend is going to study abroad, and she's leaving before April. Suddenly, I cannot understand my feelings. I know I should be happy for her but the thought that she's leaving makes me sad. But it's not only sadness that i feel, there are some feelings I can't explain...All I know is: My tears keep falling without control.
It seems to me that my friend have also moved on the next phase. It's so hard for me to imagine that we are going to be apart. For more than 8 years we've been together through tough times and good times. Now this....I am out of words...I'm just going to cry it out!
Posted at 11:16 pm by ro_annes
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Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Haaayyyy!!! I have so many questions left unanswered...
What am I going to do with my life?
After slaving myself to get through college, what am I going to do next?
Am I ready to for a career?
Why am I holding back?
Could it be that I am scared to move into the next phase of my life?
Why am I still single?
Why is it that I am always lost in space when I should be lost in love?
Am I destined to be single for the rest of my life?
Am I ready for a romantic relationship?
Posted at 02:06 pm by ro_annes
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Monday, January 17, 2005
After the reception, we made a stop to a really posh place before going home. I can’t find the words to describe the place. My emotions were all mixed up. I am feeling awe, pride, and guilt all at the same time.
Awe, because the place is beautiful. Well, it was artificially beautiful, but still it is beautiful. There’s a good view of the Subic Bay, a marvelous pool, steam baths, and Jacuzzis. Then there’s this bar were we stayed, all carpeted and a piano player that never gets tired. Pride, because not all people can enter this place. I think it’s for members only and their companions, and believe me when I say that the membership fee is serious money.
I’m feeling guilt because not all people can step into the halls of this place. I keep on thinking that I am here in this place where people with money dwell. What if they just give a fraction of the membership fee to those who hunger? I mean, with the price rates at the bar? Whew!!! The price of Bottled water is more than 50 pesos. Even if I am not paying for it, I hesitated to order for myself but I settled for a glass of iced coffee anyway.
It led me to feel that maybe happiness can’t be bought…but some people are trying hard to make happiness available, even for a brief moment for some who can afford it.
Posted at 10:21 pm by ro_annes
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